Wolves and Girls

Deerington IC Contact

Wed, 10 Oct 2018 05:44:01 GMT

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Duplicity / Subverse AU RP Post

Sat, 06 Oct 2018 04:13:30 GMT

You know the spiel
Pick a character (muselist)
Leave me a starter / pictures / quotes / whatever!
VERY NSFW-friendly ;)

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Deerington App

Fri, 05 Oct 2018 05:39:19 GMT

IN CHARACTER

Character Name: Natasha Romanoff

Canon: MCU

Canon Point: Post-Civil War / Pre-Infinity War

In-Game Tattoo Placement: Wrists (image)

Current Health/Status: Alive / Healthy

Age: Physically in her early 30s

Species: Human

History: Wiki (Infinity War Spoilers)

Personality: Given the numerous masks that Natasha wears, pinning down who she is can be something of a questionable affair, but there are definitely a number of traits that seem to shine through, no matter what masks she wears, and in the rare vulnerable moments she allows herself. Although, in a sense, her tendency to use masks, where her identity is malleable, where she is different people depending on the situation, is one of her most defining traits. We see it in the way that she sequesters her vulnerability away from everyone, except for those she trusts the most, and how she shows a willingness to manipulate and lie, playing the angles in contentious situations, even with those she considers friends. By her own words, she is "not all things to all people all the time".

This starts when she was young, as a child raised in the Red Room, as someone taught that in order to be anyone she had to be no one. At current canon point, she has rebelled against much of the Red Room's training-- but this particular facet, of being who ever she needs to be, seems to go deeper. It keeps her alive, it makes her useful. We see this in how Fury declares her to be comfortable with everything (she isn't, but where she sees in Fury something almost like a friend, he sees one of the best pieces he has in the game). And the fact is that Natasha is a different person in every movie, sliding into a different persona, a different role, depending on what's going on around her, and the people she connects with.

Natasha is complicated, and at times contradictory. She presents a very specific face to the world, that of The Black Widow, SHIELD agent, occasional savior of the world, femme fatale of the KGB, all smiles and weaponized sexuality, with fingers in every web. And this is a face that she even sells to her friends, which we see in how she has to tell Steve "I only act like I know everything" when he corners her against a wall. Because she's sold him on this idea of Natasha with her touch on the pulse of the world as surely as she has everyone else, despite the indications that they've probably been working together for about two years at this point, despite the fact that Natasha clearly tries to be something like a friend (because he needs one).

One thing that seems to inform much of her actions, is her desire to protect people. Not just people she knows, but the world. This has been shown pretty much from her first appearance, with how when Tony and Rhodey are fighting and they crash through the floor, Natasha immediately drops into a fighting stance, seeming to cover Pepper who had moments ago been yelling at her for her assumed part in Tony's downward spiral. She runs in a straight line when fleeing the Winter Soldier so as not to endanger the civilians around her, ignoring the risk she runs as she yells to get people away from her. Even when she tells Steve her story about the encounter with the Winter Soldier, she paints a picture of how she tried to use her body as a shield to protect a scientist. Going back to the first Avengers film gives us Natasha who refuses help because she doesn't want to risk possibly putting anyone else in the path of the Hulk.

Selflessness is perhaps an almost routine heroic trait, but for Natasha, who did not start her story off as a heroic individual, but as an orphan raised to be a killer, her desire to protect people is hardly routine. But more than that, it also seems to be very strongly anchored in her own guilt. She has a very, very long history of doing bad things not just in her history with the Red Room, but also with SHIELD. Pierce even throws old missions in her face as things she wouldn't want to get out as a way to try and talk her down from exposing Hydra. Like she tells Loki, "I have red in my ledger and I'd like to wipe it out". In part she is selfless because she's trying to balance a score, because she thinks sacrificing herself is the way to atonement. But the other part of that is that she thinks that the people around her are worth more than she is.

Out of this heroic impulse, also comes her loyalty to those that she allows close to her. And it's through this lens that we see Natasha as someone that genuinely cares about other people. She takes a bullet and fights the Winter Soldier, risks her life time and time again, and still does bad things, but because she believes it saves people. Which is an interesting parallel; Steve embodies the shield that he carries, but for Natasha she is the shield, is what she puts between people and danger, played out pretty literally as she uses her body to keep Steve from taking a bullet in the head. But also more metaphorically as she gives up her covers, her past, and throws them on the internet with all the rest of SHIELD's files and pretends that it doesn't hurt. How she realizes that there is no resolution where she saves the Avengers, and so she picks a side, and yet stays with Tony until he pushes her away because she knows that he needs someone.

There’s the interest she takes in Steve’s happiness, and how despite being upset and half storming off, she comes back and waits for him, because she knows he needs help, and that she can help him. When Clint is mind controlled, she makes the point to fight him in such a way that her goal is clearly trying to snap him out of it. Given the later knowledge of her familiarity with Bucky, it's very likely that shooting him in the goggles instead of an inch up and to the right, was a choice and not an accident. She very clearly prioritizes the emotions of people she cares about, such as meeting Steve at Peggy’s funeral, being there for him, no matter his stance on the accords and what's going on around them. She also gives him the file when they're in the graveyard, despite the fact that it clearly makes her uncomfortable. She prioritizes other peoples' needs over her own feelings, and it's something she does time and time and time again, without hesitation.

Natasha can be selfless, and chooses to try and be heroic, to be a hero over a spy, but she still struggles with having a rather bent sense of morality. She started off as one of the bad guys, where she was literally trained as a child to be a spy and a killer, and spent time as a mercenary with few morals and little care for who she was using her skills for. And even after Clint pulled her out of that life, gave her a second chance with SHIELD, that seems to have largely involved still doing bad things for what she thought were the right reasons. Steve himself references that a lot of the work they do with STRIKE involves dead bodies (“cleaning up after Fury's messes”).

Pierce talks about a hospital fire, the children’s ward, and Loki talks about Dreykov’s daughter, and Natasha herself even acknowledges that she has red in her ledger (even if this is a play, the scene with Steve where she talks about not knowing whose lies she was telling makes it clear this is a legitimate struggle for her). So Natasha doesn’t always have the firmest grasp on what the right thing is, and it’s why people like Steve and Clint are so important to her. Because they’re the sort of people where she knows which way points north, knows what the right thing is because she trusts their judgment over her own. She does not always have a firm grasp on those things herself, and for all her spy skills and social perception, she couldn’t tell the difference between HYDRA and the good guys, despite by all accounts having worked with them since she joined SHIELD (Natasha and Clint being codenamed as STRIKE Team Delta).

Her own moral code is stained in a myriad of shades of grey, and ruled largely by pragmatism, making her the person that will kill five people to save five hundred, that will do bad things if those bad things serve a greater good (such as her missions for SHIELD). She will do what she can to avoid having to make the hard call, but if it comes down to it she doesn't seem to hesitate much, such as in Sokovia “Everyone up here versus everyone down there? There's no math there,” she will canonly sacrifice a city to save the world. But she knows that's not always the right play, not the one that people like Steve would make, and that seems to be a very important distinction to her.

Overall, Natasha is a person with a lot of conflicting urges, who fights against what she was trained to be in an attempt to be someone better, but that still has trouble finding her place in the world. And with the events of the past several years, well. The glow of being an Avenger has certainly worn down a little bit with the public mistakes that they've made.

And that seems to be where a lot of her insecurities are, and her fears. It's about trust and loyalty, not just about in reference to her, but about whether or not she's deserving of it. Her interactions with Steve where she asks him if it was down to her to save him if he'd trust her to do it, and seems honestly surprised when he says yes. Her scene with Tony, and how she flinches when he talks about how the double-agent thing sticks in the DNA. Her greatest fear seems to be that no matter how she fights against it, that she can't really change what she was supposed to be. That she can never wash her hands clean, never tip the balance. That she still is and always will be a killer, be the same girl that killed in order to survive the Red Room, that she is still a puppet on tip-toe wearing silk shoes. That she was never real at all.

Abilities/Powers/Weaknesses & Warping:

Red Room: Natasha seems to have some degree of enhancement, although much more about peak potential than anything explicitly superhuman. She is however, able to literally toss around multiple men in tac gear without breaking a sweat. In Iron Man 2 she literally takes out about a dozen security guards in about twenty seconds. While the movies don't clarify the extent of this explicitly, it is made implicit in things like the fact that her reflexes are good enough that she is able to use her own body to prevent Steve and Sam from being shot in the head, and in a scene that was ultimately cut from Civil War (I therefore don't consider it canon, but I do think it speaks to what she's intended to be capable of--) she briefly fights Steve and is even able to steal his shield from him. She's also shown to spar with him in the post-AoU comic, and while clearly friendly, Steve doesn't seem to have any concern about hurting her. And then there's her injury recovery, which is pretty off the charts, given that after being shot through the shoulder and losing at least a pint of blood, she goes to being capable of fighting off STRIKE soldiers and then using that same arm to pull a gun on Pierce within a span of hours. Also notable is that Tony gets tossed by the Winter Soldier and ends up with his arm in a sling and a pervasive black eye, whereas Natasha gets thrown into a car by the Winter Soldier and shrugs it off.

Sharp as a Tack: Natasha is fiercely intelligent, even if she frequently seems to downplay this for the comfort and ego of those around her. When going against Arnim Zola, who at this point had been literally turned into a computer, Natasha describes him as “slightly smarter than me -- slightly” (in the comics, Zola is referenced as a "super-genius" and indications seem to imply that appellate still holds) . She's able to out-hack Ivan Vanko and free Warmachine's suit from his control. She also demonstrates tactical know-how with her ability to direct Tony as he's initially fighting off Ivan's drones. The Agents of Shield series- while admittedly dubiously canon in places- does reveal that Clint and Natasha never had an extraction plan on their missions. Which in addition to revealing the extent of her espionage skills, also says a lot about her ability to come up with her own plans, and likely change them on the fly in response to circumstances.

She has a great degree of strategic awareness, able to size up situations and react accordingly, but she also is able to size up people and make determinations about how best to utilize them. When Fury wanted a read on whether or not Stark would be useful as part of the Avengers Initiative, he sent Natasha in to make that determination. After Stark leaves the team post Age of Ultron, and the Avengers shifts to include Warmachine, Falcon, and Scarlet Witch, Steve also asks her for her analysis of their new recruits. Her intelligence also allows her to be a very effective team player, such as how she works together with Steve -- when there's an explosive thrown into the computer room and Steve goes to pick her up she immediately shoots out the window that he dives through. She's able to read people and situations and intuitively know how to react due to a combination of intelligence and social awareness.

Literally One of the Best Assassins in the World: Natasha was trained to be a spy since a very young age, going through very intense training in the Red Room facility, and after her conversion she continued doing what she did best, except working for SHIELD. She has been put through intense combat training in the Red Room, and has familiarity with a vast array of weaponry. In line with this she is an expert marksman, and equally deadly in hand-to-hand combat.

She is extremely torture resistant to the point that she literally uses getting captured as a way to interrogate people. She also seems to have a lot of auxiliary spy knowledge such as creating poisons (which she uses to secure her path to Stark in IM2), hacking / code breaking, et cetera. She's an incredibly skilled gymnast, knows how to move without being heard or seen, how to melt into covers so that people don't see her unless she wants them to, as well as being a talented ballet dancer. She also has skills related to the various covers she's held over the years.

Natural Linguist: Natasha is fluent in at least French, Russian, English, Spanish, Chinese and Latin (why tho?), and likely others, while being conversational in still more. Given her familiarity with language in a fairly wide-reaching sense, I tend to think she picks up new languages and dialects very quickly, and fitting in with her espionage training she is skilled at picking up the things that differentiate native-speakers from those that speak it as a second-language, ranging from idioms to particular styles of body language and is definitely faster at picking up the things needed to blend in. She's also skilled at social mimickry- picking up the mores and behaviors of a gathering or a particular set of people and being able to copy them in such a way as to seem like she belongs there.

Inventory: Black Widow gear, casual outfit, little black dress w/ heels, arrow necklace.

Writing Samples:
https://natalia-vdova.dreamwidth.org/5906.html?thread=35602#cmt35602
https://forbarrayar.dreamwidth.org/6193.html?thread=4048433#cmt4048433

OUT OF CHARACTER

Player Name: Jamie Winters
Player Age: 25+
Player Contact: natalia_vdova#0150 @ Disord / natalia_vdova

Other Characters In Game: N/A
In-Game Tag If Accepted: Natalia Alianovna Romanova: Winter
Permissions for Character: https://natalia-vdova.dreamwidth.org/702.html#cutid1
Are you comfortable with prominent elements of fourth-walling?: Yes. The things that make me uncomfortable with fourth-walling is when it's used as a cheap excuse to info-mod, or used for cheap laughs, as I tend to play Natasha as a bit more serious than her comic book counterpart. That said, I'm up for most variations of identity fuckery, even if Natasha finds them intensely uncomfortable. Also worth noting that the Avengers have everything from Ben & Jerry's flavors to comics to action figures in her home universe, so most of it she'll probably shrug off to some degree as the usual brand of media that saving the world tends to attract.
What themes of horror/psychological thrillers do you enjoy the most?: Oh gosh, it varies. But I love survival horror, I love a group working together against the horrific and the mysterious, I love the things that you find out about characters when they're put through that kind of strain. I love things that are spooky, the suspense of trying to track down the ghost or the monster and finding the special gold box before it eats your skin from your bones. I love situations that make people struggle and that reveal things about characters. I love supernatural and other magical horror that takes characters secrets or memories and makes them face them. I love horror and survival situations as vehicles for causing character development by taking them outside their comfort zone, basically. For psychological themes, well, basically anything that forces characters to ask questions about their identity, their perception of reality are things that I enjoy.
Is there anything in particular you absolutely need specific content warnings for?:
Child abuse, sexual assault, extensive gore (re: photos only), suicide, graphic self-harm.
Additional Information: This game looks amazing???

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slipping through the winter signs

Wed, 03 Oct 2018 06:37:52 GMT

( it feels like frost again )

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Duplicity Info / Permissions / Kinks

Sun, 23 Sep 2018 06:10:21 GMT

Natasha Romanoff
The truth is a matter of circumstance. It's not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.

BASIC

NAME:	Natasha Romanoff
CANON:	MCU
AGE:	32 (physically)
DOB:	November 22nd
GENDER:	Female
SPECIES:	Human
ACTIVE:	duplicitynet

PLAYER:	Jamie Winters
CONTACT:	natalia_vdova natalia_vdova#0150

APPEARANCE

VISUAL:	Link
HEIGHT:	5'3
BUILD:	Curvy & athletic, hourglass figure, busty with hips for days
HAIR:	Red, wavy, just past her shoulders
EYES:	Blue-grey
FEATURES:	Two bullet scars, left shoulder and left side of abdomen, very faint handcuff scars on her right wrist
DRESS:	Modern, varies between skinny jeans and stylish leather jackets to evening dresses and heels depending on the situation.
VOICE:	Link
PB:	Scarlett Johansson

PERMISSIONS

BACKTAGGING:	✔
THREADHOPPING:	✔
FOURTHWALLING:	✘ *
ROMANCE:	✔
MINDREADING:	✘ *
MANIPULATION:	✔
INJURY:	✔
FIGHTING:	✔
KILLING:	✘

* asterisks indicate hover-text, bold is for favorites

YES

MAYBE

✓ Accidental touching
✓ Aftercare
✓ Alcohol / drugs / sex pollen
✓ Anonymity
✓ Anal sex
✓ Begging
✓ Biting / bruises
✓ Blades / knifekink
✓ Blindfolds / gags
✓ Bloodplay
✓ Body writing
✓ Bondage (light / moderate)
✓ Breathplay
✓ Cages
✓ Chastity
✓ Clothed sex
✓ Cockwarming
✓ Coercion
✓ Corsets / tightlacing
✓ Consent play
✓ Dirty talk
✓ Discipline
✓ Dom / sub
✓ Double penetration
✓ Dubcon
✓ Exhibitionism
✓ Facefucking
✓ Facials
✓ Fighting
✓ Floggers / whips / canes
✓ Gagging
✓ Gangbangs
✓ Gunplay
✓ Hair pulling
✓ Handcuffs
✓ Humiliation
✓ Latex / leather
✓ Leashes / collars
✓ Lingerie / stockings
✓ Master / pet
✓ Masturbation
✓ Mirrors
✓ Multiple orgasms
✓ Multiple partners
✓ Negotiation
✓ Oral sex
✓ Orgasm control / denial
✓ Paddles
✓ Pain (light / moderate)
✓ Phone sex
✓ Photography / videos
✓ Possessive / desperation
✓ Powers / magic use
✓ Prostitution
✓ Public sex / risk of being caught
✓ Roleplay / costumes
✓ Rough sex
✓ Service
✓ Sex toys / devices
✓ Shibari / rope bondage
✓ Size difference
✓ Somnophilia
✓ Spanking
✓ Strip tease
✓ Suspension
✓ Temperature play
✓ Tentacles
✓ Uniforms
✓ Suits / fancy dress
✓ Voyeurism
✓ Wax play
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

◌ Body worship
◌ Bondage (heavy / extreme)
◌ Competition
◌ Crossdressing *
◌ Electricity
◌ Femdom
◌ Food
◌ Medical play
◌ Mind control
◌ Needle play
◌ Noncon
◌ Orgies
◌ Pain (heavy)
◌ Piercings / jewelry / tattoos / marking

✗ Adultery *
✗ Animal features
✗ Ageplay *
✗ Bathroom play
✗ Beastiality
✗ Body alteration
✗ Enemas
✗ Fisting
✗ Foot play
✗ Gender play
✗ Guro / vore / heavy gore
✗ Infantilism
✗ Orientation play *
✗ Pegging
✗ Pregnancy *
✗ Rimming
✗ Scat
✗ Snuff / necrophilia
✗ Sounding
✗ Watersports
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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MCU World Description;

Sat, 16 Jun 2018 06:02:32 GMT

The short version is that it’s the modern world with superheroes, and a tech level that skews toward weird science.

There are some notable cosmological differences, but little of it is relevant to Nat’s experiences. Hers is a version of the Marvel Universe not with mutants, but with “Enhanced”, who are largely individuals that have gained powers through exceptional pseudo-scientific means, or being an alien, and these are the people who make up the Avengers-- except for Hawkeye, who is a middle-aged guy with a bow.

Anyway. The main deviances start in WW2 with the rise of HYDRA: a deep science organization that rises in tandem to the Nazi party. Captain America is born from Project Rebirth via a special serum. He becomes the first superhero, and an in-universe historical legend.

SHIELD rises out of a WW2 science agency a few decades later, but defining their place in the world is awkward. They are a global intelligence agency that largely concerns itself with responding to the exceptional, but that also functions as the sole intelligence apparatus of the US government. Except there’s also the CIA and the FBI. And SHIELD answers not the the US government, but to the World Security Council, which is a board of select nations that provides oversight but is not the UN Security Council, because that also exists.

Overall, SHIELD is what people with tinfoil hats fear government agencies are: a sprawling organization of untold wealth, power, influence, and technological capabilities that seems to largely make its own calls, and with secret training facilities that give birth to both its agents and the most dangerous of research projects. SHIELD’s nebulous and opaque nature is probably its most realistic facet.

The three most important events in recent history would be Tony revealing himself as Iron Man, which basically took superheroes from a singular historical phenomena into the modern era with Tony Stark and his combat armor as he strives to privatize world peace. The Battle of New York, which forged together exceptional people into the eponymous Avengers team, as they fend off the attack of a god and an alien army coming through a portal in the sky. And the revelation of HYDRA as having been part of SHIELD, which not just tips the status quo by tearing down SHIELD, but leaves the heroes operating now ostensibly as an extension of Stark Enterprises.

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Infinity War Open Post (Spoilers!);

Fri, 18 May 2018 01:06:26 GMT

Open RP post for Infinity War stuff!
Leave pictures / prompts / starters / whatever
Warn for any NSFW pics in the subject line
Elsewise gimme all that angst and H/C and AU nonsense
M/F or F/F with discussion; I'm pretty easy ship-wise
I didn't love the movie, I just want the feelings

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Soldier, Shield and Spy

Fri, 02 Feb 2018 23:35:20 GMT

[She gives Steve the file, and she tells him she needs to go rebuild her covers. One truth and one lie. She kisses him goodbye, soft tenderness she means more than she can say in a graveyard by a tombstone for a man who has not died. The file from Kiev is thick, filled with Russian words, faded photos in warm sepia tones, newspaper clippings, internal documents tied up in red string and placed disarmingly between heavy manila paper. She doesn't edit it for her own comfort, doesn't steal the parts of herself tangled up with the Winter Soldier from his fingers. There are things she should have told him and yet she never had the words, and this is the only way she knows to tell the story, to unearth those long-buried parts of herself, so she just leaves it in those heavy hands to piece together after she leaves.

What happens then is a question she doesn't have an answer to, but she knows the trail she's chasing wont keep.

The best lies are ones told in the shadows of truth, and this is no different. She does need to build herself new covers, but it's part and parcel of an old story; becoming someone else to chase down a ghost. She stripmines what she can from the things she burned to expose Hydra; connections, favors and old blood promises. It's enough for a start. But the name she slips into is one older than her days with SHIELD, things she kept secret for a rainy day. Now, it's her way to follow him out of the country even as the cameras and the tabloids still scream about her testimony on Capitol Hill.

She'd lost him, before. She refuses to let him go this time.

In the wake of the bullet he'd put in her side, the surgery and the SHIELD agents -- by the time she'd put the pieces together, it was too late. Everything had gone cold, and all she'd been able to do was catalog the whispers. He's always been good- she knows better than anyone because he'd taught her- but she knows some of his tricks, and she knows the old Soviet safehouses that aren't caught up in the Hydra purge taking the world by storm are his best bet.

Steve gets closer to the trail than she would have guessed. Maybe he's been picking up on how she works, or maybe he asked Tony for help, she isn't sure. He's called her, left her messages she hasn't listened to yet, because she doesn't know how to explain. And part of her is scared that they're not asking questions, that it's acceptance and forgiveness that she doesn't feel that she's earned. So she stays out on her own, in the cold. She works better that way. It's a late night, the taste of alcohol still on her breath, surrounded by the pieces she's managed to put together, sitting in a cold safehouse where James has come and gone, feeling like there's something here that she can't see, and then she texts him. No words, no apologies, just a location.

There's part of her that isn't sure that he'll come. Because she lied, and Natasha exists in a space where she knows just how fast people jump to did I ever really know her at all?. She knows, in that way of spies and defectors, just how hard it can be to rationalize the pieces of someone into a whole you can live with. She knows it is for her. She focuses on Bucky because that's easier. She thinks Steve knows her well enough to see just how brittle her edges are in that moment, because he doesn't push. She doesn't try to reassure him that things she said were still true, that she still cared, because how can she staring down the barrel of this? Natasha doesn't know where it ends, just knows that it's something she has to follow. And Steve does too.

But she was right: there were secrets written here that she couldn't read, but he can. And it almost makes her want to punch James, not just for running, but for pushing them together. After that night, they chase him together, and she tries not to feel too bad about dragging Steve down into their world. James leaves little signs, whispers that alone they couldn't make sense of, but together-- There's a trail they can follow. It's when they put together the city, Natasha on the phone buying the tickets under fake names, that she smiles and kisses him. The first time since the graveyard, a whisper of what they'd built between the missions and saving the world and the teasing. They should talk about it, but she can't- not here, not yet. All she can do is offer an apology that's breath instead of words.

She almost doesn't believe it when they narrow it down to a warehouse. They talk, about how to approach this. Trying to strike the balance between not drawing attention, safety, and giving him as little reason to run as they can. There's no costumes, no shield, and Natasha doesn't have her guns strapped to her thighs. They're dressed down, and while Steve's hands are always something that can save or protect, Natasha keeps her widow's bite under the sleeves of her jacket, a knife on her hip and a Glock 26 at the small of her back. She thinks James would probably be annoyed if she didn't.

And then it's the two or three of them in an abandoned warehouse. Natasha slips through the front door as Steve comes in the back, and she tries to see if they've played their cards right, if there's a ghost waiting for them in along with dusty widows and cold cement floors. She slips through the hallways with footsteps that are ballerina-soft, a tilt of her head as she looks for a shadow in the dark. Looks for her soldier.] Aren't you going to catch me?

[Russian whispers, pulling on strings of an old game they used to play in the dark.]

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Open RP Post!

Wed, 26 Jul 2017 02:53:09 GMT

Leave a starter post or ask for one, give me gifs and pretty pictures, song lyrics, a ship and a setting, or any mix you like.
Let's make magic happen. NSFW is cool, just label the subject line pls.
If you wanna know what I'm into pref are here and kinks.

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IC contact post

Sun, 29 Jan 2017 21:09:03 GMT

Leave a message.

[Text | Voice | Video | Action]

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His cupid's bow was cold as winter

Thu, 29 Dec 2016 08:55:37 GMT

It was a strange thing they had here, in the wake of the chaos, of a world that resolved it would rather not have the Avengers than allow them to operate without a leash. She could understand the fear. She'd thought it was something they could contain, that there was a way the Avengers didn't go to pieces, but she supposed she should have known better than that. She should have been on top of this months ago. So if she overworks herself now, it's because it's too heavy on her tongue, that knowledge that complacency and comfort kill. Because if she'd been paying attention she would have seen the Sokovia Accords coming. There were so many signs. And so now she overworks herself, trying to make sure that if something happens, if Tony catches wind of something, if there's someplace they need to be because Tony and Vision can only handle so much, that she knows about it. She tries to defuse it before it starts, but that only goes so far, so often. Some things require Steve's touch, Wanda, Sam, Ant-Man, people with a different skillset.

It wasn't a particularly rough night, but she's glad to be home. It's a strange arrangement, but it's safe. She's happy here, with Clint and Bucky, even if it's selfish. She knows that there's a conversation that needs to be had, but she tells herself that it's too early in Bucky's recovery to push. She reminds herself that she doesn't know what to say to Clint, even when the more accurate truth is that she doesn't know what comes after. And she's afraid that somehow this would change. She's never been as good at handling her own feelings as she is at manipulating other people's. And so she lets it stay like this, a little murky, but with clear affection for the both of them.

It's late but not too late when she gets home. Dark out, and the two men should be asleep if everything's going okay, if it's one of the good nights. Natasha can't deny that she was a little worried at first, about leaving Clint here with Bucky alone, but he reminded her that he'd been there with her those first months, and that was hard to argue with, so she didn't. And everything had been okay, so far. Sometimes they had to patch a hole in the wall, a few bruises, but nothing had gotten too bad. Clint was a good enough read of a situation to know when words couldn't help; he knew when to run. But, as soon as she walks into the bedroom, she can tell that tonight isn't a good night. Normally, she'd walk over and touch Clint's shoulder, his hair before slipping into bed with James. But it's not one of those nights.

So instead, she shoots him an apologetic look, a look that says don't leave, I've got this, and slips into the other bed, where Bucky is tossing violently with the nightmares, his metals fingers clenching and unclenching in a pantomime of violence, and Nat murmurs low, the words to an old Russian lullaby they used to play the girls in the Red Room, when they were younger. She moves slow, stripping her weapons off on the way to the bed so that by the time she presses her face into his shoulder, lithe frame pressing into his side, she's entirely undone. She makes herself vulnerable so he doesn't feel he has to fight, and she whispers soft words of how the house is safe, even as the grey wolf circles by the window panes.

"Stay. Stay with me."

She wants to wrap her arms around him, but she doesn't. She just presses in close, hoping it helps, that the words at least give him a memory that the Soldier might recognize. He'd hummed it for her, once upon a time, when he'd snuck in through her window as they did too often back then, and she'd just been back from three missions back to back. She didn't usually have nightmares when he was with her, but that night she did. And when she'd calmed enough, she'd kissed him, devoured him, like touch could wipe away the darkness. He'd slipped away just before dawn, and they'd thought they were safe.

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baby it's cold outside

Thu, 08 Dec 2016 05:44:23 GMT

After leaving New York with a certain supersoldier in tow, they'd made their way down the coast. Getting out of the country was in their best interest, but when the rain starts coming down in sheets, and the winds are starting to tear off the branches of the trees, pulling over and waiting out the storm seems like the best idea. She gets them a room from a distracted clerk that doesn't seem to know how the register works, a second floor room, which isn't quite her preference under normal circumstances, but for the moment, she'll take what they can get. On the upside, the only cameras she's been able to make out are over the cash drawer; you get what you pay for, but the less cameras there are to dodge is a good thing, for the moment.

The place certainly isn't much, but she knows they've both dealt with worse. A small room with small beds, and a bathroom that was hardly big enough to turn around in. She's soaked to the skin just from moving from the parking lot, red hair clinging softly to her forehead and the sides of her face. She leaves for a moment, grabbing them some sodas and junk food from the vending machine in the lobby as the wind howls, trees creak, and distantly someone's car alarm rings into the night.

The door clicks behind her and she smiles at him, roguish and as light as she can manage. "Catch," she demands as she tosses a can of coke in his direction; easy, not that he needs it. "Forecast predicts we'll be stuck here until at least midday tomorrow; weather's supposed to get worse over the next few hours. "I hope you like kit-kats," she commented with a lifted eyebrow as she held up one of the red-wrapped packages between her fingers.

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Restless Winter

Mon, 31 Oct 2016 02:04:44 GMT

They sent her out into the blizzard with a simple mission: find and eliminate the target. Nothing she hasn't done before, the gun easy in her hands. Her clothes are white as the snow around her, making the red ponytail at the nape of her neck the only thing that stands out in the snow. She's good at this, maybe a little arrogant, but she's the only one left of her class, everything they'd tried to teach hardening her edges. They've never put her against someone like her before, and they didn't tell her that he was hunting her, too, they just sent her out into the snow with a gun and instructions to kill on sight they knew she wouldn't manage.

The cold doesn't bother her, even if she's not wearing nearly enough layers for the weather, but the wind makes it hard to catch the scent, pick up the trace of something unfamiliar on the air. Any trace of her quarry seems to vanish with the wind-whipped stretch of the Russian winter that are her hunting grounds. It's not yet night, late afternoon, she estimates, but the sky has only dark grey and thick clouds to offer, no real light, no silhouettes. They've never sent her to hunt in a blizzard before, and she has this frustrating sense that the Target is just out of reach. She checks over her shoulder only to be confronted with the near endless white; visibility is low, but that should be affecting both of them. Someone watching. Maybe they're hunting her?

The thought sharpens her expression into a smile, because it's been a while since she's encountered anyone that could keep up with her. But then, she'd never met the Soldier before. Her new teacher, even if they hadn't told her that. Someone higher up decided to let him prove why before he put her through the paces. She was good, as good as they could make her, but he could make her better. There were holes in her style, places where she let her strength and reflexes compensate, took hits because she could get away with it. They wanted him to file away her impurities.

And it starts here, in the snow, a low sense of agitation waxing as she can't find a trace of her Target. But there's that sense that there's someone else close, and even drawing the icy air between her lips, she can't catch the scent on her tongue. But she doesn't lose her calm, still logical, trying to put together the signs, even when there hardly seem to be any.

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Smother Your Dreams in my Flesh

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 01:05:47 GMT

It was one of the bad nights. She could tell because of the way that shivers ran through him, enough to wake her. She takes a moment to catch her breath before she reaches out, touches him, tries to stir him from his dreams. Strangely, it only seemed to make it worse on nights like these if she let them run to completion. Startling him from whatever it was that had its fingers in his mind on these nights always seemed to work better. She never asked, but she thought she knew anyway what it was that he dreamed of, why it took him a while to come down, why on these nights he was the Soldier first, before he could put himself back together enough to remember to be her James, Steve's Bucky. Remember why that was important.

But, it was never easy. She was bracing herself, squared shoulders and gritted teeth, her hand on his flesh shoulder, shaking him softly. "James," she called, trying to reach him. She never stopped trying to reach him, always called him by his name. Never Bucky, never Soldier. Sometimes it was in Russian; Yakov or Yashenka, trying to reach him, trigger a memory, a sense of recognition that she knew was hard to reach in moments like this. It hadn't worked yet, but she didn't stop trying. The benefit of waking him up, was also that it gave her time to brace herself, to plan for it when he'd grab her arm and then she'd push his shoulder down to the mattress, try and straddle his chest.

He wouldn't give her an inch, but at the same time, even like this be pulled back from outright trying to kill her. She'd end up with bruises that he'd apologize for, kiss every purple-blue fingerprint on her skin later, once he came back to himself, but they both knew that with someone else it would have been worse, and that's why it wasn't Steve, and she healed about as fast as he did anyway. "It's alright, I'm here," she whispered in Russian, aiming for soothing, anything that might cut through the cold, reach him, her fingers brushing through his hair.

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Kink List;

Thu, 16 Jun 2016 05:31:52 GMT

KINKS

LIMITS

(Starred things I will play with discussion)

[I'm not shy about talking kinks. So please, please feel free to ask about kinky stuff, or hit me up for something aimed at one kink or another. I love character dynamics and the interplay of personality and relationships. Buuuut, I also really love kinky smut. And I especially love when these two things overlap. No shame to be found here. Oops?]

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Player Contact

Thu, 16 Jun 2016 02:13:29 GMT

Player Contact
This is my OOC Contact Post for plotting, chatting, fandom screaming, and other such things. I don't bite! Either comment directly to this post (comments are screened) and I'll get back to you, or hit me up at any of the methods listed herein which I stalk all the freaking time. For plurk, I mostly exist in pplurks, and make sure to ping me so I get the notif.
DISCORD: natalia_vdova#0150PLURK: natalia_vdovaPM: here!

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Navigation;

Wed, 15 Jun 2016 02:02:32 GMT

NAVIGATION

DEERINGTON INBOX «
DEERINGTON APP «
PLAYER CONTACT «
KINK LIST «
IC INBOX «
IW RP POST «
GENERAL RP POST «

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Permissions

Sun, 29 May 2016 12:40:53 GMT

[OOC]

Backtagging: Until the end of the world!
Fourthwalling: Not generally, if it's important for the character, let me know and I can figure it out.
Offensive subjects: None really?
Notes: So I'm not an elitist or anything but please, at least give me more than two sentences? That said, I will do action spam. But short prose posts make me cry and for the love of everything, please don't shortchange smut posts.
( RP Permissions )

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